Homesick.

I wrote this last night, doesn't mean anything, I was just waiting on a subway platform, and started scribbling...

Today I experienced my first moment of homesickness. It hit me as I stepped into the Madrid Metro, returning to a friend's house where I am staying alone. I can't say for sure that it is not just Madrid, I actually hate this city. I have yet to feel at home in this place -- the closest I came was while riding a bus out of Madrid -- Granada bound. That's when I saw you...

Heavily bearded, English speaking (what a relief), towering, with eyes that nearly blinded me they were so beautiful, the sight of you made me feel weak all over.

For the next three weeks, you were my home away from home. Playing the role of confidant, naviagator, partner-in-crime, protector, lover, brother, friend. No memories before you (us). A more metaphysical connection never existed between two strangers. You were my counterpart in a past-life -- current-life -- future-life.

Bus back to Madrid with new friends I love, railways, motorways, taxis, comforts you don't get in a hostel/hotel. But as I write this, I catch a glimpse of my thighs, sunburnt, peaking out from under my summer dress, bruised from your kisses, and I am homesick.

Homesick for a place that does not exist. I have no home to return to, furniture in NYC and LA, no place to call my own. Been that way for a long while now; for the last year I have found my home in the hearts of those around me. Friends who have touched me or been touched by me, and have allowed me in.

You made it clear you were not taking any guests, "closed off" by your own admission. Maybe I forced the lock, or you left a backdoor unlocked unknowingly, but someway -- by some miracle, you let me inside your home (your heart).

A temporary guest, 3 weeks to be exact. Helping each other, or hurting each other, but knowing each other from the first hello.

Like a home built for two. A feeling of comfort from the first step inside.

But homesickness, as with other sentiments fades with time. So I am taking solace in that fact and in the hope that maybe somewhere you are missing home too.

bummed.

sooo much to say about this one. sepearte post coming soon.

En Espana y necessito trainers...

These Anthony Citrano images are inspiring me, but my super tightly packed suitcase is doing the opposite...

Kate McGwire

Her work is jaw-dropping! It would be great to see these pieces in person, I love it when contemporary art not only utilizes the working space but actually incorporates it into the work. And feathers as liquid?!!?!? genius.

Travel Shopping

In my mind of minds, this is what imagine myself to be wearing during my trip. She looks like a "world traveler" no?

Busy Bees

Today was a day dedicated in majority to teamwork. Clem and I spent the morning getting our asses kicked in unison by my trainer, Michael, aka. "The Silver Stalion". Then we hit the grocery store, the hiking trail, the MOCA and Opening Ceremony. Here are a few snapshots from the day:

Missing you...

ADIDAS

All
Day
I
Dream
About
Sex

and one day, in the next 365 days, it won't be a dream...but a nightmare.

Does this make sense?

I thought Texas was "Hell"...this is too confusing.

'nuff said...

Don't ask!

Good Hur

Photo Shoot Ideas

I was talking to Christopher about doing a photo shoot in Copenhagen, just for fun of course. This would be an awesome concept. Nudity is the direction I am heading it. Mostly because I need to loosen the fug up, and embrace my body and all its flaws. Thoughts?

I STILL love you

This Made Me Laugh!

Offensive Armenians

Last night, the bar owner asked me my ethnicity, after asserting that he was surprised I didn't have big lips like an "African"...

When I told him my fam was from P-town he went on to say "oh yea?, cause I was thinking that you have like a white girl's face with black skin"...

SIGH.

Last Night

last night was very interesting and confusing. i did some new things, well, one new thing stands out. I only told two peripheral-male friends about it. I think I am going to keep it a secret. I told myself that if any of my girl friends answered their phones today, I would tell them everything. But since no one felt compelled. The secret will die with me and my two quasi-friends.

It is driving me crazy though.

Maybe you will be able to derive a hint from this series of photos...but most likely not.

Buena suerte!

Today's Photo Finds.

me likes.

impossible.

I guess I would choose "Good Looking" and "Intelligent", I can use my intelligence to research self-induced "Emotional Stability", no?

This has been a really tough week.

I Put A Spell On You...

...But you're still not mine.
Do spells work? if so, where might one get the tools to perform one?

Approching the one month mark...

The last time I had sex. Feb 15. 2010

Agenda for Tonight's Partay

Unless your celibate...

um hi, yes, I'll take two.

ugliest shirt ever.

Forever 21 strikes again. I was just putzing around on their website when I saw this blouse. I remembered seeing something like it before on Sex & the City. It was when Aiden was moving in and they were consolidating her closet...



Speaking of STC, I saw Carrie's best gay friend Stanford Blatch on Ventura today. He was in a Prius. I hope his gas peddle doesn't get stuck.

TA - Tattooed Annoymous

I am in the market for a new tattoo. No really because I need one, or should have one. But just because it seems like about that time. Here are two tattoos I thought of getting last year, but talked myself out of.

I always dreamed of dating a man covered in tattoos. Full sleeves and/or a chest piece would suffice. I guess since I am at a loss for a man who fits any of my lesser and more basic criteria...much less my tattoo wishes.

sigh.